I pray, I am not dreaming
by ScarletRose16
Summary: 'Ms Kosaka is suspected of harbouring ghouls' How she decked mutsuki's face and replied nonchalantly 'Ko-saka?...Never heard of her' The one who would cheer her up. Who would bring a smile on her face. Admiring her cooking even if it tasted bad just to see her happy and motivated. 'Never heard of her' She lied.


one shot. overall character development and relationship between touka and kaneki.

alternate predictions to upcoming chapter

Disclaimer- I don't own Tokyo ghoul characters. Ishida sui does

Please read and review

 **I pray, I am not dreaming…**

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'Touka, what are your dreams for the future?'

'Dreams for the future?'

'Mmmhmm, your dreams?'

'I….I have never really thought about it..What about you Yoriko?'

'To become a cook!'

'That's …Nice. I am sure you will be prosperous'

'Hehe..Thanks! So, Touka what do you dream of becoming?'

'My dream, huh?'

'Mmmhmm!'

'They are not actually dreams, but there are this things that I'd like to try'

'Like what? Tell me?'

'Being a school teacher or running a coffee shop'

'A coffee shop, you mean like anteiku?'

'Oh yeah! A coffee shop... It's like.. a coffee shop is a place where people naturally gather….I kind of like idea of that'

'Id work at your place, Touka!'

'Sure why not!'

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Yoriko couldn't help but think of their past conversation.

After a fair chat with her fiance in park, It left her pondering over that name.

Kirishima Touka

Where was her friend? What happened to her? What happened after that day? Suddenly disappearing without a trace behind?

Millions of questions flooded her mind.

She couldn't sleep. Yoriko really wanted to know about Touka.

Takeomi gave her hope. Thinking of wedding itself made her a bit excited. She needed to tell her that

...she was getting married.

Tears escaped her dreamy eyes, once again the train of thoughts reversed back to their high school days.

How was she?

Cooking her tasty dishes to which she admired, walking her home late night to ensure her safety, defending her from bullies. Everything. Even if it was a few moments they spend together

She still remembered, that day when Touka didn't show up and she went to the zoo herself.

Alone.

What really happened that day? Rumors said the cafe was ran by Ghouls? Was it true?

Is it for real?

The fact she didn't know that Touka is a ghoul.

Touka was not like others, she was different.

In many ways...

Blunt and straightforward yet kind with words. She cared for others. Fighting loneliness was not new to her.

Overcame the fact that her family was torn apart by the CCG and she had to live a fugitive life until leading a more docile life by attending school. Yoshimura became her fatherly figure. Having yoriko and a family from Anteiku. After the raid, she became emotionally drained. Unable to search for the scattered ones. Became wiser day by day. Built a new home for him to return because she knew he had nowhere to go.

Patient.

Just like Yoshimura.

And here she was, In an old abandoned site. Running away from the dangers lurking on the streets, Remembering how she fled along with the king, not even sparing a single glance while leaving Cafe called :re that was being destroyed by oggai's, she was formerly a manager that owned that place.

No not just any other Cafe.

It was her 'Home'….

Being a manager was not easy, dealing with people with hundred shades of personalities. And that too human beings. Also dealing with CCG's a few times.

She is a monster that treats human with hospitality but feasts upon their corpses at the end of day.

Oh! How she had wished for a human life and a family.

The past haunts her mind.

Was it because of her troublesome behavior that close ones started leaving her side?

She felt cold and alone. Very cold.

Those piercing eyes for countless times must have been settling upon that empty space.

Waiting

Hoping that one by one everyone will show up.

Her father, Ayato, hinami, Yoshimura , Yoriko and Kaneki.

Kaneki...

'I have faith in him'

'I'll see you later, kaneki'

Touka was tired of waiting, every day her hopes would fade, bit by bit.

Even though after formation of black goat, few of them were currently by her side but she felt empty.

Empty and singled out

Why didn't Kaneki choose her? Was she ….weak? Was she not worthy?

Again?

He once said he wanted to protect her..

'Protect my ass'

Her deep eyes wandering over the empty cafe at the end of day.

'I will be sad if you died'

'As long as you are with someone one I am fine' he says touching his chin.

That...that habit she knows way too clearly. She would close her eyes fisting the dust cloth. No one cared about her.

No one ever fucking cared for her. If she existed or not, it didn't mattered. She smiled bitterly. She had her own pride and never let anyone break through those high walls, not even Kaneki. As haise she knew he had developed an infatuation for her.

She kind of liked it...

How he revealed that he feared losing her because of her impulsiveness and she said that the roles have been reversed. It was her who was afraid to lose him.

It was when they both realised they had feelings for each other.

Losing a near one was her weakness

She was afraid to lose others too.

When amon visited her she suggested him to gather courage and meet Akira. While she thought of amon thinking of her as his superiors killer he in turn called her of a kind person.

'it lit a fire in my chest that will burn till I die. But that fire doesn't burn at you. It burns at the world the circumstances that gave us no choice but to do what we did'

Guilt.

The teary reunion between little Himani and the daughter of amon's superior, Akira. Who despised her existence?

'It must be terrible to be trapped by your past unable to live in present'

Trapped.

It is..and will always be

Watching orphaned aogiri kids play, she told Akira Himani was the last person her dad was chasing and she killed him.

Touka thought of her father as an idiot who killed investigators for revenge. Just like Mado. She would never take pride in what wrong her father did but in end she always wanted to be with him.

Her family was her weakness

She hated her weaknesses

Whenever she thought of herself as weak she used to see Renji. He became her support, protected her from harm. She couldn't afford to lose him or those who were alive.

Yoriko, her only human friend whom she cared about. How was she going to make up for leaving all of sudden?

How did mutsuki found her?

The mutilated hand surfaced through her thoughts.

No...

'No!' she thought should not belong to her best friend

Someone was culprit who felled to mutsuki's evil deed.

Yet she lied

'ms Kosaka is suspected of harbouring ghouls'

How she decked mutsuki's face and replied nonchalantly

'ko-saka?...Never heard of her'

The one who would cheer her up. Who would bring a smile on her face. Admiring her cooking even if it tasted shit just to see her happy and motivated.

'Never heard of her'

Just a few hours ago she lost her new found home and Yoriko.

Watching: re destroyed was similar to Anteiku.

Her heart twisted. Tears on verge of falling from her dead eyes.

Touka sighed. She hugged her knees and hid her face. Thinking of this was completely useless.

It happened in past.

What now?

Right now she had kaneki by her side. Who had known how it feels like to lose a best friend while trying to keep him away from dangers of ghoul side. Dragged and lost for no reason.

'Touka, are you okay?'

'Yeah'

She could not just let her tears fall right away. Asking for a simple advice and hoping to find solace in situation like this she asked him.

'What did you do when you felt like seeing him?'

He let his head drop

...Hide

Just when she saw kaneki thinking about his friend, his eyes glossed.

Pinning him down, staring at his dry lips hoping to find comfort in him she leaned on him. She didn't want him to think of his past right now. But it seems both of their emotions were mutual.

Unable to think further, helpless. If right now Kaneki was her source of comfort, she was ready to die for him. She leaned forward unable to control her actions, unsure of her heart and mind as they crossed. So close that once upon a moment kaneki's heart skipped a beat. It almost felt like kiss as their breath mingled. This close to him, she smelt like coffee and home. Heart beats synchronising.

She smiled just like the way she gave to haise when he cried.

Sad and beautiful.

The faint moonlight showered their bodies as if it wanted to witness the love of the two kindred spirits.

His breath shortened, waiting for her but then he saw her dams broke. Tears running down her cheeks and leaning on to his shoulder to hide her breakdown. Deep blue eyes displayed vivid memories. Her heart quired, all her locked emotions overflowing the brinks. She couldn't take anymore. Snorts and gasps at intervals. Her body shook with each sob. Every thought shattered her fragile heart.

Her distress was tangible, kaneki wrapped her shaking form in his arms. He couldn't do anything for her right now but her hold close to assure her that he is by side.

Always.

He stared in blank space, his eyes burning from unshed tears.

Touka somehow found her solace in his arms.

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'Please don't leave me alone'


End file.
